if i were you

now you show your true colors.
eventually everyone does.
and you know what?
fuck you,
and what is convenient for you
and your untouchable life.
you make a mess and dont want
it to dirty you,
but your hands are filthy.
how you use,
how you betray,
how you lie to yourself,
and everyone around you.
you're so sad.
am i an inconvenience for you?
probably.
i remind you of what you truly are.
and you don't want to see it.
you don't want to look at yourself in the mirror.
i wouldn't either, if i were you.

casi como

una cosa casi como paz
en sentido casi de ansiedad, mas no
un entremedio, líquido
un ojo abierto y el otro cerrado
un hipo
una pausa, un silencio
si mueres como yo, estas llano
si ries como yo, estas claro..de algo
un humo que baila con el aire en espirales
una sonrisa lejana
una luz tenue, atmosférica
una cosa casi casi como yo

mi fortuna

el sonido de las olas rompiendo me despierta
ferozes
que fortuna
no escucho nada mas que eso
una y otra ola
el viento, el mar
lo contínuo
ah si, los windchimes

hacer y deshacer

voy haciendo y deshaciendo
y me envuelve una cosa casi como paz
casi como tranquilidad
aunque una gota de recuerdo
me baje la mirada un tercio por momentos
y me ponga una pantalla
que me muestra como pudistes ser
pero continuo haciendo
y creo que mas deshaciendo
momentos que pense eran reales
sentimientos inventados
palabras redobladas
haciendo nuevos lazos
contando un cuento sin ti
y ahora la historia cambia
haciandome a mi al deshacerme de ti

what!??!?!?

he's getting married!?!?!?!? she never liked me. i mean, actually, she hated me. i never had anything with him, he's just a friend. but we had to stop being friends because she was jelous.

i can't believe it. he complained so much of her jelousy!! but i guess he loved her enough to overlook it.

i dont understand men (obviously).

and he (another). he's having a baby!?!?!? he was never really too much into her...and now he's gonna be a daddy.

what is it? i mean..i would like to get married one day too (to the right guy, i might add). but i always thought maybe i was too possesive, or to this or too that. but i'm not. they are and it doesn't matter.
somebody please explain.
i mean, MEN. you love them, you hate them, you are there for them, you bitch at them...it doesnt really matter, does it? either they love you or they don't, right?

maybe i'm just the one they could never imagine really being with for too long. maybe i look sexier when i'm single. maybe it's that i'm lucky.

highlights and downfalls of NYE2006

my mom telling an eight and a half pregnant woman that it's OK if she has a drink..then pointing to me and saying "i used to have rum and cokes while pregnant with her".

being with my immediate family and relatives all in one room.

watching fireworks.

posing for family pictures (everyone must be in it!)

hugging my sister.


trying to figure out who are the people on TV that do the count down.

driving in the rainy slippery highway on my way back home.

not getting a cel phone signal.

spendind the rest of the first hours of the new year with my best friends.

getting directions while driving to the after party on my cel phone from generous guy on a cel phone in the bathroom because it was quieter there.

being the designated driver (i had two beers the whole night).

trying to keep my best friend from tiliting from side to side in the front car seat while driving back (she was sleeping), then stopping abruptly on purpouse to make it happen (it was funny!).