heavy
do without doing and everything gets done.
being silent and still makes me feel more. and i constantly move...filling my time with things to do.
i crave to stop. i can't cry. i hold my breath and go down to the bottom. i clean. the hungry eyes are there, still. i wan to hide away. i want to go to steps.
drowning out what i want for a moment of silence and stillness inside. pause. let go this heaviness that claims me.
but i told you i loved you. and you didn't hold me.
being silent and still makes me feel more. and i constantly move...filling my time with things to do.
i crave to stop. i can't cry. i hold my breath and go down to the bottom. i clean. the hungry eyes are there, still. i wan to hide away. i want to go to steps.
drowning out what i want for a moment of silence and stillness inside. pause. let go this heaviness that claims me.
but i told you i loved you. and you didn't hold me.
into me
you dont know what i think about
or where i''ve been
and you saw me dragging myself through the mud
and you couldnt figure it out
like, how many times i've done this
display of lowness
i do it over and over
and i know it's wrong
i slice a bit of skin
and nurse the wound
and make a scar in the same place inside me
that shows you how much i am not worth it
how much of me needs to feels wanted
how i want to feel special
and i make the worst of the worst
i kill every bit of hope
so you can show me how i'm special
with all my faults and all i fuck up
that you'll stick it out
you won't cave in
because you know that i
am worth so much more
because you took the time to know me
me, the one who will be there
and you know that if i drag
every single bit
you can see beyond what is there
into me
or where i''ve been
and you saw me dragging myself through the mud
and you couldnt figure it out
like, how many times i've done this
display of lowness
i do it over and over
and i know it's wrong
i slice a bit of skin
and nurse the wound
and make a scar in the same place inside me
that shows you how much i am not worth it
how much of me needs to feels wanted
how i want to feel special
and i make the worst of the worst
i kill every bit of hope
so you can show me how i'm special
with all my faults and all i fuck up
that you'll stick it out
you won't cave in
because you know that i
am worth so much more
because you took the time to know me
me, the one who will be there
and you know that if i drag
every single bit
you can see beyond what is there
into me
i ask myself and you and you and you
do you know what it is to be tired of starting again?
to end over and over, each time a different ending?
have you ever felt the desire to keep a piece that you gave away so
you don't break a little more?
but you give it away anyway, hoping for love?
have you ever jumped in knowing it would fade?
do you ever feel jaded and broken and then new and willing to try it again?
have you ever goten drunk with jelousy and killed a love with it?
did you learned from it?
have you every been the one to wait and see and you saw that it was not for you?
have you ever just gone to a place in your heart that is full of unconditional love?
did you ever think you would love in 10 different ways?
did you ever feel a love so deep from someone, that it hurt you to feel it?
have you ever done something so hard that it stripped you away of everything you think you are? did you ever come back? did you change after that?
are you the same person you were 5 years ago? did you build up more walls or did you strip then away?
do you know what love is? do you want to know? do you sacrifice? should you?
do you ask yourself what you are here for?
to end over and over, each time a different ending?
have you ever felt the desire to keep a piece that you gave away so
you don't break a little more?
but you give it away anyway, hoping for love?
have you ever jumped in knowing it would fade?
do you ever feel jaded and broken and then new and willing to try it again?
have you ever goten drunk with jelousy and killed a love with it?
did you learned from it?
have you every been the one to wait and see and you saw that it was not for you?
have you ever just gone to a place in your heart that is full of unconditional love?
did you ever think you would love in 10 different ways?
did you ever feel a love so deep from someone, that it hurt you to feel it?
have you ever done something so hard that it stripped you away of everything you think you are? did you ever come back? did you change after that?
are you the same person you were 5 years ago? did you build up more walls or did you strip then away?
do you know what love is? do you want to know? do you sacrifice? should you?
do you ask yourself what you are here for?
it all goes round
you wanted me
but i didn't want that
you reeled me in
and i drifted away
and it all goes round
like a merry-go-round
'cause i drifted fast
ran as far as i could
and i melted your heart
then i drank it all up
'cause it's drifting away
now it's all coming back
and it all goes round
when i dive in and out
i knew it all along
saw the cloud from afar
but the sun was so bright
so i took it all in
knowing it would rain
it felt good
hungry eyes
and i ran with you
to a place not too real
but it's all i could do
you see, that's what i do
drink it like a shot
drunken kiss
taking it in
moving to a beat
'cause i die tomorrow
but not today
put it off 'till tomorrow
like a merry-go-round
and i ran far away
to a place not too real
where the sun never fades
and the steps lead me on
but it all goes round
and i dive in and out
but i didn't want that
you reeled me in
and i drifted away
and it all goes round
like a merry-go-round
'cause i drifted fast
ran as far as i could
and i melted your heart
then i drank it all up
'cause it's drifting away
now it's all coming back
and it all goes round
when i dive in and out
i knew it all along
saw the cloud from afar
but the sun was so bright
so i took it all in
knowing it would rain
it felt good
hungry eyes
and i ran with you
to a place not too real
but it's all i could do
you see, that's what i do
drink it like a shot
drunken kiss
taking it in
moving to a beat
'cause i die tomorrow
but not today
put it off 'till tomorrow
like a merry-go-round
and i ran far away
to a place not too real
where the sun never fades
and the steps lead me on
but it all goes round
and i dive in and out
wishing/washing
the same way you showed up
little by little leaving things
now little by little taking them away
and with them a piece of me that goes to nowhere
everytime i am more of my core
raw and tender
scratching a wound that keeps on opening
because i decide to open up
and letting go is difficult when a part of me goes
a love i give away
if it's true it will come back
if if if...
i only knew how to wash it away
with the break of a wave
how to hold myself
how to love completely
and carry on with the rest of me
still here,
here still
with another tear i must mend
with my breath
and the ocean clearing away my heart
little by little leaving things
now little by little taking them away
and with them a piece of me that goes to nowhere
everytime i am more of my core
raw and tender
scratching a wound that keeps on opening
because i decide to open up
and letting go is difficult when a part of me goes
a love i give away
if it's true it will come back
if if if...
i only knew how to wash it away
with the break of a wave
how to hold myself
how to love completely
and carry on with the rest of me
still here,
here still
with another tear i must mend
with my breath
and the ocean clearing away my heart
soul dabble
a dance of pleasure
a sushi orgasm
contact, a stroke
sometimes only that and sometimes..
when your eyes have an ongoing dialogue and you go into yourself to feel a sigh and come out and into the other's,
a kiss on the forehead
dabble in places around the soul that you touch with tenderness
the breath meets and you taste a scent that feels like home
(when you give and you know it's now that you have and let go of the fear, then it's ...)
and beside all that: a tickle, a laughter, and days linger with an open door that has to be to allow you to come and to go. and come. and go. and let the breeze in.
and let it be.
a sushi orgasm
contact, a stroke
sometimes only that and sometimes..
when your eyes have an ongoing dialogue and you go into yourself to feel a sigh and come out and into the other's,
a kiss on the forehead
dabble in places around the soul that you touch with tenderness
the breath meets and you taste a scent that feels like home
(when you give and you know it's now that you have and let go of the fear, then it's ...)
and beside all that: a tickle, a laughter, and days linger with an open door that has to be to allow you to come and to go. and come. and go. and let the breeze in.
and let it be.
abrazo
ok. y dejé que sucediera. que la vida traiga lo que viene para mí.
lo abrazo.
un hilo que se coce por aquí y se descoce por allá..así se siente mi vida.
algo llegó a mi vida que me llena de brillo. otras cosas que parecen ser impedimentos momentaneos..pero eso pasa. todo pasa. lo desagradable y desafortunadamente lo rico tambien.
lo abrazo. y para que se un abrazo aprendí que no es aguantar para siempre, porque se estrangula. es abrir mis brazos, pegar mi cuerpo y luego dejar ir.
esa magia la queremos guardar aunque sea etérea. me sumergo en ella. sintiendo su aliento en mis labios.
dando de mi. dando por querer. sin miedo. pues con miedo no es vivir. y caminando lado a lado se siente bien con alguien que tiene ganas de vivir. con sueños. ambiciones.
nos reímos y la vida tiene sentido.
lo abrazo.
lo abrazo.
un hilo que se coce por aquí y se descoce por allá..así se siente mi vida.
algo llegó a mi vida que me llena de brillo. otras cosas que parecen ser impedimentos momentaneos..pero eso pasa. todo pasa. lo desagradable y desafortunadamente lo rico tambien.
lo abrazo. y para que se un abrazo aprendí que no es aguantar para siempre, porque se estrangula. es abrir mis brazos, pegar mi cuerpo y luego dejar ir.
esa magia la queremos guardar aunque sea etérea. me sumergo en ella. sintiendo su aliento en mis labios.
dando de mi. dando por querer. sin miedo. pues con miedo no es vivir. y caminando lado a lado se siente bien con alguien que tiene ganas de vivir. con sueños. ambiciones.
nos reímos y la vida tiene sentido.
lo abrazo.
broken silence
all a haze, daze
and days go by
together
and i just go with it
wondering,
what wheels spin
broken
but not unpoened
a silence holds my breathe
and days go by
together
and i just go with it
wondering,
what wheels spin
broken
but not unpoened
a silence holds my breathe
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